


Chips

by AStarDanced203



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: And Harry is very soppy about his boys, Babies, Banter, Dad Lads, Everyone is wearing a bobble hat, F/M, Friendship, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Harry and Ron are proud husbands, Harry and Ron attempt to do some dadding, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, James being very cute but a bit dim, Many crying babies, Neither of them have a clue what they are doing, Quidditch, Swearing, Very Implied, because why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 22:45:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8508463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AStarDanced203/pseuds/AStarDanced203
Summary: One thing I thought that Cursed Child was lacking were moments between Ron and Harry where they were being mates, just the two of them. I hope this goes some way to correct that. Here is a little one-shot in which Harry and Ron have discussions about Quidditch players, eat a lot of chips, Harry attempts to do a bit of parenting and Ron is a bad influence on his nephew. Not in any way serious but I just had a lot of mental images of my favourite pair of best pals and needed to write them down.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm still new at this game so any feedback, good or bad, is really appreciated. Thank you and I hope you enjoy!

“James, look up there. Can you see Mummy?”  
Harry pointed skywards at the redheaded speck that was hovering someway by the goalposts. The little black haired boy, who was very busy pulling up clumps of grass from around his father’s feet, craned his neck upwards.  
“What’s Mummy playing?”  
“Quidditch” he replied. Although he had a limited vocabulary, at not quite two years old, one of the things James Sirius Potter had got down was Quidditch. The other was, unfortunately, ‘fresh pickled toad’, which Harry and Ron had, in an effort to wind Ginny up, taught him to sing the minute he could start talking.  
“That’s right Jamesy’ Harry replied, beaming at his small son. “And what does Mummy do in Quidditch?”  
“Sneeker” James replied, looking up at his father as if to say mate, I thought you knew about Quidditch, before resuming the destruction of the outskirts of the pitch. Harry smiled at his son’s disdain and ruffled his mop of black hair so that it stuck up all over the place. 

It was an unseasonably cold day for October and Harry was suddenly feeling grateful for the tiny heat pack, known as Albus, strapped to his front. They’d been having a hard time with Albus, a fussy baby, and Harry was thrilled to be out of the house. As he watched his wife, he felt a pang of longing to be up on a broom there with her. He was desperate to forget the fact that they had had three hours of sleep the night before. Albus’ colic had been so bad that the only way they could get him to stop screaming was to walk him round and round the house, flung over one of their shoulders. They hadn’t put him down for hours and Harry’s entire body ached. As if he knew his father was beginning to think unkindly of him, Albus snuffled and moved closer to his chest, his little cheek squashed against Harry’s woolly coat. Looking down at his second son, who was so close now Harry could feel his heart beat, he thought he might explode with love. As their father he may have been biased but he was of the opinion that his sons were two of the most exceptionally cute children he had ever seen. 

A lanky, bobbled hatted figure, also with a small baby strapped to his chest, came striding across the field, waving at him. As Ron came into clearer view, he clapped Harry on the shoulder and jovially said  
‘Wotcha Roonil. How are my favourite nephews?”  
Harry chuckled "Don’t let your other nephews hear you say that, there are a lot more of them than are of you.”  
“Yeah but they are my favourite nephews, they’re my baby sister and my best mate’s kids. And, you know, spawn of the Chosen One and all that. But for family accord, how are my favourite Potter nephews?”  
Harry leant over and gave Rose’s leg an affectionate squish.  
“They’re alright, FINALLY just got Alby to go to sleep. He’s colicky so he won’t stop screaming, it’s doing my head in. What are you doing out here, it’s bloody freezing? We’re only here because Gin’s still breastfeeding and can’t get through a whole practice.”  
Ron grimaced slightly. Two kids down and he still couldn’t quite get a grip on his little sister getting her boobs out, even if it was for the very purpose they were intended for.  
“Rosie was fussy and Mione’s got some report thing which, despite the fact that she is on maternity leave, can’t let go of and I offered to get out of her hair for a bit. So Rosie and I thought we would go on a little walk, didn’t we poppet?”  
He kissed the gently snuffling bundle on her head, his finger firmly wedged in her curled up fist. 

“What’s the cause this time?” Harry inquired.  
Although she was totally enamoured with Rose, stay at home motherhood didn’t seem to be suiting Hermione. She was growing restless at being confined in the house and not in the office so new political causes that she simply had to investigate and put right kept popping up.  
“Werewolf rights, I think. She was getting very heated, there was a lot of hand waving, and then Rose started bawling. I took that as my cue to get out of there. How’s Gin doing?”  
Harry beamed proudly, as he was wont to do when questioned about his wife’s Quidditch career.  
“She’s been on top form, you’d never know she’d been off for months. We’re very proud, aren’t we boys?” Harry directed his question at James. James, however, had found a worm in the dirt and completely ignored him.  
Ron snorted at his nephew and said sarcastically  
“Good to see that you command the respect of your children, Harry. Very authoritative.”  
Harry raised his eyebrow and said  
“I don’t need to be authoritative, I’ve got Ginny. I’m just here to provide terrifying bedtime stories about stuff that I will not be encouraging them to get up to when they get to school.”  
Ron looked wistfully off into the distance and remarked.  
“Aaaw but we had fun though. The troll dungeon was a triumphant moment. Not to mention the car smashing.”  
Harry turned and smiled cheekily at his best friend.  
“We did, didn’t we?”

His breath rising in a great fog around him, stamping his feet and and rubbing his hands., Ron said ‘Bloody hell, it’s freezing. And I’m starving. Fancy something to eat?”  
“Where are you going to go, there’s nowhere round here?”  
Ron rolled his eyes.  
“Oh this is, “but there’s no wood” all over again. I’m a wizard Potter. Back in a mo.”  
With a loud crack Ron apparated, making Albus stir slightly in his sling. Harry silently prayed he wouldn’t wake up. Ginny’s excellent form was showing no signs of stopping and her bawling son would certainly put her off. Five minutes later, Ron reappeared with a huge bag of chips. They stood in contented silence for a minute watching Ginny circle the pitch on the lookout for the Snitch, the two men shovelling chips down. 

“You know” Ron mused, dunking his chip into the ketchup that was floating near his left ear and brandishing it loftily. Harry noticed out of the corner of his eye a blob land squarely on Rose’s head and watched as Ron tried to surreptitiously wipe it off with his coat sleeve.  
“If I wasn’t married to the best woman in the world, I’d quite liked to go out with a Quidditch player. They’re gracefully athletic.”  
“Got your eye on anyone in particular?” Harry replied, snorting with laughter.  
“Well Cecilia Parker’s pretty nice.” Ron nodded towards the Keeper who was bobbing in the middle of the goalpost, her blonde hair waving in the wintry wind. “Not a patch on Hermione of course but you know, she’d do.”  
Laughing loudly, Harry informed his best mate that, should Hermione ever realise that she was way too good for him, he was sure that Ginny would be happy to make introductions.  
“She really fancies you, you know.”  
“Who does? Ginny? I’d bloody hope so, given that she’s had two of my kids.”  
“Cecilia Parker” Ron soldiered on, ignoring the allusion to the fact that his sister and his best friend had slept together at least twice.  
Harry felt his cheeks growing warm and red.  
“ Oh. How d’you know?”  
“Ginny told Mione she overheard her telling Ceridwyn Bevan that you were, and I quote, dreamy.”  
“What, even though I’m speccy and look permanently knackered?”  
Ron shook his head “It’s not put her off. She also said, according to the wives, that Ginny was the luckiest woman alive and that she would like to do terrible things to you. Can’t say I see it myself but what do I know?” Ron finished, smirking at Harry.  
Harry, not quite knowing what to do with this information, busied himself with adjusting Albus’ bobble hat. After a moment, Harry inquired  
“What did Ginny have to say about it?”  
Ron shrugged  
“Mione said she thought it was funny. She’ll tell you about it I reckon. And then, if I know my sister, tell Cecilia Parker where she can shove her crush on you.”

Harry thought back to the last time he, Ginny and Cecilia Parker had all been in the same room together and seemed to recall that Ginny had been a little frosty with her teammate then. Not normally a jealous type, he now also remembered that she had been more than a little overt with her affections that night but he had never completely understood why. He’d borne the bruises, and been mercilessly mocked for it the next day at work, of Ginny’s misplaced jealousy on his neck for days afterwards. Feeling his mind start to drift into territory it shouldn’t whilst surrounded by children and your brother-in-law/ best mate, Harry distracted himself by grabbing another handful of chips and popping a couple into his mouth.

“James, if you promise not to tell Mummy, would you like a chip?” Harry asked, offering a chip to his son.  
The little boy grabbed the chip, sat down on the ground and promptly shoved it up his nose. Immediately realising this was entirely the wrong thing to do, James panicked and began to scream. Concerned that one son would wake the other, Harry crouched by James and attempted to restrain him long enough to get the chip out of his nostril. As his panic grew, James became more eel like, thrashing about on the floor, his face reddening. 

‘James, darling, if you stand still, Daddy can get the chip out. You need to stop wiggling though otherwise Daddy might poke you in the eye with his wand.” Harry, now contending with holding an increasingly panicky James still and getting his wand out of his back pocket (Mad Eye Moody had been right, although Harry had never imagined that when he’d told them to keep constant vigilance, he’d meant staying vigilant about toddlers putting chips up their nose), scowled at Ron who was killing himself laughing. 

Wrestling his wand free, he yelled  
“Accio chip.”  
The chip obligingly flew straight into Harry’s glasses with a squelch, where it fell down his jumper. This only made Ron laugh harder, which woke the sleeping Rose, who began to scream the place down. Harry, standing with a snot-encrusted chip and a small snivelling boy in his arms, looked over at his best friend frantically trying to calm his screaming daughter, and began laughing.  
“What is so funny?” Ron, now bouncing up and down, hollered over Rose’s cries.  
“I don’t get it Ron. How did we even get here? I’m extracting chips out of my son’s nose. We were heroes. Literally the saviours of the wizarding world. We spent our days running and our nights fighting.”  
“Yeah, thank FUCK that shit is over though, right. I don’t know about you but I’d rather be here with a screaming child and a snotty chip any day of the week.  
“Oh absolutely.”  
After a minute or two of both men muttering soothing words, James and Rose were calmed and Harry was thanking Dumbledore that Albus had slept through the whole thing, oblivious to his brother’s moment of stupidity. 

Ginny’s amplified voice rang out across the pitch  
“Alright everyone take five, I’ve started leaking.”  
Speeding down towards the gaggle, she flung her broom to the side and swept James up into her arms, kissing every inch of his face. Almost on cue, Albus began to yell, kicking his tiny legs in hungry frustration. Arms outstretched, Ginny approached her husband, saying “Potter you give me that boy here immediately.” Wrestling with the straps of the sling, Harry passed the writhing Albus to Ginny. She stroked his cheek and cooed “I know, baby, I know. It’s alright, Mummy’s here and we’ll go and get you some milk.”  
Beside her, Ron mimed sticking his fingers down his throat.  
“Oh grow up Ron, how else am I meant to feed him?” she snapped back.  
Feigning shock, Ron replied  
“Are we not meant to be feeding Rosie pumpkin pasties three times a day then?”  
Giggling at her brother, Ginny placed the wailing Albus over her shoulder, gently bouncing up and down and rubbing his back. James, not wanting to be left out, toddled over and hugged her leg  
“Mummy” James said grinning up at her.  
“Yes, sweetie?”  
“FUCK”  
Harry froze as James’ tiny voice rang out across the pitch and was horrified to find that he had the urge to laugh.  
As Ginny turned, blazing, from her brother to her husband the two men exchanged a look. A look that said “it’s been nice knowing you pal.” For they both knew that, saviours of the wizarding world they may be, they were about to be ended by a small, very angry, ginger woman.


End file.
